Top Ten Madonna Moments of 2013

  
2013.  This was one of those Madonna years during which not much happened musically; a very small crowd was treated to the only live public performance.  Music aside, there was of course the usual mix of latter-day Madonna tidbits like Hard Candy Fitness center openings, her "feud" with Lady Gaga, and newsflashes about how much she earns (FYI, she's the highest paid musician; last year's MDNA Tour cracked the all-time top 10 tours list; and the sale of her L.A. compound netted nearly $20M.)

But our favorite 55 (!) year-old, between showing her ass a lot and popping gold into her mouth, seemed to be kicking it old-school and showered us with surprises.  Who'd have foreseen her (finally) diving into social media?  Given - and then stripped of - the titles of both a Mensa-caliber genius and full-fledged billionaire?  Launching an excruciatingly teased and massively promoted art initiative?  Moving on from her boyfriend (fare thee well, Brahim!) while sidling up to a very famous ex?  Or serving us punk goddess, Marlene Dietrich, Bettie Page, and Boy Scout (!!) realness?

Let's just get into that and much, MUCH more.

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Top Ten Madonna Moments of 2012

Madonna left quite the impression this year.

In every meaning of the word. 

First, "a notion or belief"?  Nearly 5,000 kids will be served by schools co-built by Raising Malawi, with more schools on the way.  Those kids will get the impression that there is good in the world and they could be summoned to a higher calling. 

Second, "the effect produced by an agency or influence"?  The Material Girl label thrived.  Hard Candy fitness centers expanded.  A workout tape arrived.  Even without Madonna pressing the flesh and pushing product herself, her influence was pervasive.  Joe Francis, the entrepreneur behind the low-brow "Girls Gone Wild" video franchise, decided, in a stroke of premature publicity-mindedness, to pick a battle with Madge over the preliminary title of "Girl Gone Wild" even though dozens of other songs share the title.  Lame move but telling of Madonna's dominion.

Third, in ad-speak, an "impression" is the measure of the number of eyeballs (or eardrums) garnered.  Consider that more than 14 million people had been exposed to "Give Me All Your Luvin'" before it had its debut at the Super Bowl a few days later.  That historic game, by the way, was the most-watched U.S. television event ever.  Madonna's performance in the middle of that show saw a spike of two million more viewers, making her 12-minute set the most-watched TV segment in history.  One hundred fourteen million impressions.  (She also set a tweet-per-second record, if we're drilling down into numbers.)

Fourth, "a strong effect produced on the intellect, feelings, conscience, etc."?  Why, yes, the media blitzkrieg this year resulted in Madonna's placement as the sixth-most discussed public figure on Facebook and the highest ranking female.

All in a year's work for VH1's "Greatest Woman in Music." 

Here are the top ten ways she impressed us in 2012, an astonishing 30 years since her breakout single "Everybody" was released:

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Top Ten Madonna Moments of 2011

We Madonna fans got a lot of hackneyed product this year, for sure. We got a perfume named Truth or Dare, a second Hard Candy Fitness Center (this time in Moscow), and of course more Macy's-based Material Girl clothes. What's next, a Ray of Light line of lamps?

We kid! We kid! If the foregoing was all Madonna did this year - and understandable as that may be with such an overstuffed 2012 on deck - we'd hang up our blogger pen and call it a year at that.

So, let's get serious.

"I Love New York" was featured on "Glee". David Guetta won a Grammy for his remix of "Revolver". Madonna has a new boytoy half her age named Brahim Zaibat.

Not enough? Okay, then, how about we get to the REAL Madonna year that was? Coming right up: a turgid twelve months of a woman that doesn't just rest on her laurels and think of goods to name after her famous song titles.

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Top Ten Madonna Moments of 2009

Madonna fell off a horse.A nude shot of her caused a commotion.
Letterman engaged her in a fizzy chat.She was protested, boycotted, and booed while on tour.Quick: What year was it?The Madonna Meta Machine chugged along another year, and you're forgiven for losing a sense of regularity. Her rare gift of perennial resurrection and reinvention assured that, even in comparatively low-wattage 2009, fresh M news blended with Groundhog Day-ish stories familiar, creating a stream-of-consciousness media cocktail of Madonna lore.To keep us on track, and in furtherance of her various interests - music, fashion, charity, sexual politics - Madonna was of course at the reins. As she closed out another decade - her third in the superstar stratum - we were reminded of all the irons this lady's got in the fire.
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