Wednesday, May 31, 2006

My Pictures from the Friends and Family Performance

Better late than never, courtesy my friend Mark, here are my pictures from the May 20 pre-opening show in L.A. We couldn't get many decent shots because the security guys inside the Forum were ultra Nazi at this event, swatting down cameras and using flashlights to spotlight would-be photogs.

(Needless to say: Spoiler warning! For those who are avoiding a peek at the tour, feel free to use the "Previous Posts" index on the right to skip these seven images.)

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Confessions Tour Review Compilation

A handy guide to tour reviews (mostly glowing, natch) thus far:

Madonna Launches 'Confessions' Tour in Los Angeles (Yahoo! Music)

Madonna Kicks Off 'Confessions' Tour (Associated Press via Yahoo! News)

Madonna crucifies herself in tour opener (Reuters via Yahoo! News)

Opening night with Madonna: The inside scoop (USA Today)

Madonna Launches Tour With Disco Crucifixtion (Rolling Stone)

Madonna Hangs on a Cross, Knocks World Leaders in Tour Kickoff (MTV)

More to M than meets the eye (Liz Smith via Variety)

Madonna late to party, but starts tour riding high (L.A. Daily News)

Inside the Confessional (L.A. Times)

Your Madgesty! (The Sun)

Back in the Saddle (Entertainment Weekly)

Madonna starts confession in LA (BBC)

John Katsilometes takes in a true Las Vegas spectacle - Madonna at the MGM Grand Garden Arena (Las Vegas Sun)

Madonna delivers shock, awe at HP Pavilion (The Mercury News)

Madonna dazzles the HP Pavilion (San Francisco Chronicle)

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For Madge, No More Vegas, Baby?

Maybe the lyrics to I Love New York will be changed to "Las Vegas is for people who sleep."

By all accounts, Madonna was none too pleased with the less-than-enthused crowd at Her Vegas performances over the weekend. She shouted at one guy in the front row, "What, are you in the CIA or something? If you're just going to sit there, at least smile!"


Apparently still bristling from a relatively lukewarm reception, She made a dig about Sin City in Her first of two shows in San Jose last night, exclaiming, "You guys are better than Vegas ... You're the shit. Who said Las Vegas was fun anyway?"

The MGM Grand audience is lucky they got away with just a tongue-lashing from Madge. If you let Her tell it, She grew up on the mean streets of Detroit and spent many years in New York. She'll cut a bitch if you don't get your cheer on.

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Quick Blurb from San Jose

Bulletin! Madonna rocked San Jose last night.

Reports a good friend who flew across the country (see, I'm not the only one):

best i've ever seen her. I went nuts for music. That was perhaps the best live performance of any song i'd ever seen.
High praise for the high priestess of pop.

Get your dancing shoes on, kids.

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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

A Visit with the Queen, Part 7: The View (NYC, 6/8/05)

In the latter half of the fifth month in the Anno Domini 2005, the grande dame of our fine nation's harbinger medium spoketh of another coming: The royal She would sit with the ladies of The View.

Huh? "The View"? The morning talk show featuring a clucking coffee klatch? What would Madonna possibly have to say to the housewives of America through that show? Surely the rumors about Barbara Walter's statement were untrue. Would Madonna really do a live interview in early June on "The View"?

Just to be sure, I called one of the co-hosts and secured my studio audience spot (remember those
Perks of Employment in the Entertainment Industry?). Even though the rumor included a specific date, I remained skeptical.

Then it started to make sense. Three words: Lotsa de Casha.

Madge had a new children's book to promote and had planned a slew of media events in early June. A book signing and fundraiser were announced locally, and what better New York-based TV show to promote a sweet fable than the family-friendly gabfest?

I had reserved tickets for June 8 and was relieved that Her appearance started getting heavy promotion a week or so beforehand, all but confirming the date.

The morning of, Beth and I waited with the mostly tourist throng and got excited to be in the small studio. When the ushers started seating people, we were escorted to the very front row, literally within spitting distance of the set. Beth sat directly next to the producer the camera always cuts to, Bill Getty, and on my right was some pretty, young Friend of Madonna. Unlike Letterman, we were inches from where the hostesses would be sitting ... meaning Madge would be RIGHT THERE.

Before the show, the warm-up guy tried to get a dance contest going. (Or something.) Madonna music was blaring all around us and I somehow ended up on the studio monitors mouthing Ray of Light. That was the extent of my screen time for the show, except a few notable appearances during the live broadcast of the handsome back of my head.

But I didn't want to be on TV. I just wanted to see Madge up close again.

Watching live TV in person is always bizarre. Things never look quite like they do what with lighting, sound, make-up, and set dressing all taking a new televised sheen. Plus, you're always aware of cameras moving around, directors and producers speaking to the performers through earpieces, and TelePrompTers.

The opening chitchat of the show went in one ear and out the other. Although it was cool to see Barbara Walters up close (and, okay, Star Jones [not as big as she looks on TV], Elisabeth Hasselbeck [a sweetheart - despite the conservatism - who introduced herself during commercial breaks], and Joy Behar [a total pisser]) it all felt like filler until the main event.

When Madonna was announced and walked to the stage, we were again struck by Her beauty and how tiny She seems. I could not keep my eyes off of Her, occasionally looking to Beth for our usual "Omigod, we are so close" moments.

And then She stood at the sofa while the audience whooped and hollered. Watching the video of the show, I saw that the cameras cut to the upper tier of the studio to show the audience cheering. In that split second, I blew Madonna a double-handed air kiss that She acknowledged with a polite nod. (Testify, Beth!)

Many fans noted how nervous Madonna seemed during the interview. While She did look down a lot, She also was quite engaged with the gaggle of four hosts, considering She had to turn to face different interviewers and cover everything from Her family and fitness regimen to the new book and Her upcoming "I feel like dancing" album (Confessions on a Dance Floor, before it was so named). I didn't pay much attention to the interview as much as I did Her shoes; I knew it was a rare glimpse of seeing Her so close .. and how else to really remember the experience than to watch things that don't translate over television?

Flash photography is allowed at "The View" during commercial breaks, and the set just lit up when the show temporarily went off-air. Madonna didn't get out of Her seat during the break, but She did confer with the hostesses and occasionally looked out into the audience with a smile if someone brazenly shouted Her name. (Funny how people get so timid around such a luminary.)

Besides feeling the out-of-body excitement of being thisclose to Madonna the person as opposed to Madonna the performer, we were given another gift that morning: a goodie bag stuffed with merchandise based on Her children's books.

A lasting gift from Madge Herself. I won't even sell the loot on eBay.

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Monday, May 29, 2006

In Defense of 'Super Pop'

In case you couldn't tell, I love Madonna.

I love how She changes. I love that She's sustained Her career for well over twenty years. I love Her sense of style and Her obvious delight in creative adventures. I love that She advocates diversity and tolerance. I love that I can debate the merits of Madonna with anyone, something that is put to the test on a regular basis.

There are certain aspects of Madonna's career, however, that even I can't, in good conscience, defend.

For instance, take these fashion faux pas (please!).

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:











Contrary to the above evidence, the woman is nearly always impeccably put together.

In the realm of Her raison d'etat, too, She rarely flubs. You gotta hand it to Her: The songs are works of art. Her lyrics are great.

Except these:

If I was an animal, I'd be a lion
If I was a car, I'd be an Aston Martin
If I was a genius, I'd be Isaac Newton
If I was a hero, I'd be Martin Luther

If you want to reach the top (reach the top)
If you do, you'll never stop (never stop)
(The top)

If I was an actor, I'd be Marlon Brando (the top)
If I was a painter, I'd be Frida Kahlo (the top)
If I was a drink, I'd be a lemon drop (the top)
If I was a song, I would be super pop

If you want to reach the top (reach the top)
If you do, you'll never stop (never stop)
If you want to reach the top (reach the top)
If you do, you'll never stop (never stop)
(The top)

If I was a star, I would be who I am today
If I was a fighter, I'd be Cassius Clay
If I was emotion, I would be intense
If I was a man, I would be president

I'll be different
If I'm the president
I'll be different
If I'm the president

If I was an animal, I'd be a dog
If I was a dog, I would be a man
If I was a man, I'd be the president
If I was the president, I'd be different

If you want, you can reach the top (reach the top)
If you do, you'll never stop (never stop)
If you want, you can reach the top (reach the top)
If you do, you'll never stop (never stop)
(The top)

If you want to reach the top
You would start and never stop (never stop - the top)
If you want to reach the top
You would start and never stop (never stop)

If you want to reach the top (never stop)
You would start and never stop (never stop - the top)
(Reach the top - if you want you can reach the top - never stop)
(Reach the top - if you want you can reach the top - never stop)
(Reach the top - if you want you can reach the top - never stop)

Still with me? Ouch, right?

These are the lyrics to Super Pop, the "bonus" track that was sent to ICON members right when Confessions on a Dance Floor was released. While it is plain to most why the song was omitted from the playlist of the album, let me be one of the first to stand up and say I actually like the song. And I can concede when Madonna doesn't quite hit musically (Amazing, Jimmy Jimmy, Mer Girl).

You need to hear (or re-hear, as the case may be) the file. It's got a great beat and, if you ignore the insipid lyrics, a catchy chorus. Ignore the "ooh yeah" bridge, the awkward political commentary, and the - sigh - barking dog effect. What you're left with is a surprisingly well-produced throwaway that could've been a crunchy club anthem.

When the rumors of a tour name were swirling, I had heard "Super Pop" was considered. Having virtually ignored the track after one or two post-release spins, I revisited it to see why it might be the centerpiece of the new tour, besides its obvious, U2-esque tour-ready name.

When the Confessions Tour was officially announced and Super Pop relegated to fleeting fan-only nugget garnering roughly zero buzz and only a mention in an MSNBC article, the song still remained on my iPod. And it grew on me. I found myself humming the chorus and replaying the plunking chords underlying the song. It actually builds into something, layering a simple bass into a more complex work, employing multiple vocal tracks, heavy percussion, and what sound like strings.

At the very least, we can all agree She got one line right: "If I was a star, I would be who I am today." No, Madge, it doesn't get more "super pop" than You.

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More Front Row Seats (ish)

Madonna's official fan club, ICON, has been quietly giving away front row seats for every performance.

In case you don't happen to check the exclusive site obsessively, you might have missed the "Contests" area, which updates every few days as each show approaches. There is a simple - if you're a big fan, that is - and easily Google-able - if you're not - trivia question that must be answered via e-mail with all the member's coordinates. If you're a big enough fan to shell out $50 a year for a fan club, chances are you'll know the answer to a question like "In what year did Madonna marry Guy Ritchie?" If not, for shame!!

ICON has been awarding the front row seats to a randomly selected member with a few days' notice before each show. Any ancillary expenses are up to the member. In other words, get your ass there, and you're set.

Am I entering each contest with any eye to flying out to see another free show? You bet.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006

Even Ol' Liz Smith Gets It

While gossip doyenne Liz Smith probably didn't fly to L.A. to see the Confessions Tour, much less write the following, thanks to flacks and ghost writers, she pretty much nailed why seeing Madonna in concert is a must this summer.

What follows is an honest assessment of the show, devoid of too much gushing or PR-speak that too often plague the tabloids, especially Liz's column. Tread carefully, though, because in this celebration of seeing Madonna live, Liz - spoiler alert! - drops a few setlist bombs:

LISTEN, LOOK BEYOND CRUCIFIX

May 25, 2006 -- 'THIS IS who I am/You can like it or not/You can love me or leave me 'cause I'm never gonna stop."

So sings Madonna.

FORGET THE crucifix. No, really. It has already become the visual image of Madonna's spectacular (and spectacularly ambitious) "Confessions" concert. But as usual, there is more to M's work than meets the eye. The "blasphemous" sequence, in which she sings "Live to Tell" suspended on a cross, is accompanied by desperate images and dire statistics about children dying of AIDS in Africa. Why the cross? Don't ask M, who'll only tell you her work must speak for itself and she believes in the intelligence and imagination of her audience.

In spite of the crucifix controversy, this show contains some of the great set pieces of Madonna's career. "Music" is transformed into an homage to 1970s disco in general and John Travolta in his white-suited "Saturday Night Fever" persona in particular. This incredible number is worth the exorbitant price of admission. There is her entrance from the ceiling in a giant glitter ball . . . "Like a Virgin" performed in her dominatrix equestrian outfit, playfully gyrating like a 20-year-old on an oversized saddle . . . "Ray of Light" and "I Love New York," display Madonna's impressive guitar licks and her ability to command the stage as a rock-chick extraordinaire. "I Love New York," which is one of the weakest songs on her "Confessions" album, comes alive, thanks to Madonna's ferocious in-the-flesh tackle of it. The sinewy, sometimes androgynous singer/dancer channels Iggy Pop in her angry, defiant "Let It Will Be," and then switches moods instantly with a haunting "Drowned World." Both songs question fame, in a different frame of mind, reflecting Madonna's continuing search for peace within this maelstrom of her own making.

There are the head-scratching moments, numbers that don't come off ("Erotica") and cringe-inducing profanity directed at the president. (Really, at almost 48 years old, there's no need for Madonna to engage in juvenile pandering. Especially as she makes her political point powerfully in a video montage that includes George W. Bush existing side by side with Hitler, Mussolini and other charmers.)

Even if you are not especially a Madonna fan, I defy anybody to watch this woman work for two hours onstage and come away unimpressed. (She is greatly assisted by her incredible troupe of dancers, of whom Daniel "Cloud" Campus and Leroy "Hypnosis" Barnes are standouts. But every single one in her cast is brilliant!)

Madonna is determined to tattoo her vision onto her audience and make them think whether they want to or not. She is equally passionate that her fans get the very best of her, doing what they want to see her do. She sings (live), she dances like time has stopped and surely she never fell off that horse! The star provides an ongoing visual feast; almost too much happens on a Madonna stage (and in her head!). She and director Jamie King are over-fond of the giant visuals that back Madonna and can overwhelm her, but these are often beautiful, and for the fans in the nosebleed seats, they're compensation for watching their idol from a vantage point that reduces her to the size of a postage stamp.

THOUGH THEY seem polar opposites, Madonna and Marlene Dietrich have a lot in common. Marlene also offered herself as fans wanted to see her - encased in sequined gowns, a shimmy here, a hand gesture there. Madonna's act is considerably more athletic, but nonetheless a result of iron stamina, perfectionism, self-love and a professional standard that is out of reach by even the most dedicated performers. Indeed there is an almost Prussian, compulsive work ethic in Madonna's personality.) Old age and infirmity stopped Marlene, and she drew the curtain on her public self. Madonna is still a young woman, but not a youngster. Watching her aerobic intensity, one wonders how much longer she can do it. And why she wants to continue the brutal grind? Why? Because whatever her art and world attention has meant to Madonna, it hasn't altered. She has changed in some ways: married, a mother of two, a devotee of religion, but the great need that propelled her from Michigan to Manhattan way back when is as strong as ever. She wants to be adored - she wants to shock, confound, create, never rest on what has been. She looks to the future. Madonna is consumed by ambition and ego yet sometimes longs to free herself.

"Confessions" - which might be subtitled "I'm Still Here Ha! Ha! Ha!" - isn't a perfect concert, though by the time it reaches N.Y.C. in June, it might be. But it is a perfect showcase for a woman who has imposed her will on the world. And has no intention of loosening her grip.

ONE OF the happiest people at Madonna's concert was pal Rosie O'Donnell, loaded down with camera equipment. It was her first time out with a digital camera; she usually prefers old-fashioned film - "I love that darkroom smell!" Rosie compared notes with celeb lensman Kevin Mazur, much loved for his talent and good manners. Rosie has long documented Madonna's concerts. "I send her scrapbooks. I figure when we're both 80 we'll be in rocking chairs, going, 'Ah, remember the "Confessions" tour, honey?' "

Maybe. But I have a feeling M will be on her "Madonna 80: Ready, Willing and Still Able" tour.

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Even Ol' Liz Smith Gets It

While gossip doyenne Liz Smith probably didn't fly to L.A. to see the Confessions Tour, much less write the following, thanks to flacks and ghost writers, she pretty much nailed why seeing Madonna in concert is a must this summer.

What follows is an honest assessment of the show, devoid of too much gushing or PR-speak that too often plague the tabloids, especially Liz's column. Tread carefully, though, because in this celebration of seeing Madonna live, Liz - spoiler alert! - drops a few setlist bombs:

LISTEN, LOOK BEYOND CRUCIFIX

May 25, 2006 -- 'THIS IS who I am/You can like it or not/You can love me or leave me 'cause I'm never gonna stop."

So sings Madonna.

FORGET THE crucifix. No, really. It has already become the visual image of Madonna's spectacular (and spectacularly ambitious) "Confessions" concert. But as usual, there is more to M's work than meets the eye. The "blasphemous" sequence, in which she sings "Live to Tell" suspended on a cross, is accompanied by desperate images and dire statistics about children dying of AIDS in Africa. Why the cross? Don't ask M, who'll only tell you her work must speak for itself and she believes in the intelligence and imagination of her audience.

In spite of the crucifix controversy, this show contains some of the great set pieces of Madonna's career. "Music" is transformed into an homage to 1970s disco in general and John Travolta in his white-suited "Saturday Night Fever" persona in particular. This incredible number is worth the exorbitant price of admission. There is her entrance from the ceiling in a giant glitter ball . . . "Like a Virgin" performed in her dominatrix equestrian outfit, playfully gyrating like a 20-year-old on an oversized saddle . . . "Ray of Light" and "I Love New York," display Madonna's impressive guitar licks and her ability to command the stage as a rock-chick extraordinaire. "I Love New York," which is one of the weakest songs on her "Confessions" album, comes alive, thanks to Madonna's ferocious in-the-flesh tackle of it. The sinewy, sometimes androgynous singer/dancer channels Iggy Pop in her angry, defiant "Let It Will Be," and then switches moods instantly with a haunting "Drowned World." Both songs question fame, in a different frame of mind, reflecting Madonna's continuing search for peace within this maelstrom of her own making.

There are the head-scratching moments, numbers that don't come off ("Erotica") and cringe-inducing profanity directed at the president. (Really, at almost 48 years old, there's no need for Madonna to engage in juvenile pandering. Especially as she makes her political point powerfully in a video montage that includes George W. Bush existing side by side with Hitler, Mussolini and other charmers.)

Even if you are not especially a Madonna fan, I defy anybody to watch this woman work for two hours onstage and come away unimpressed. (She is greatly assisted by her incredible troupe of dancers, of whom Daniel "Cloud" Campus and Leroy "Hypnosis" Barnes are standouts. But every single one in her cast is brilliant!)

Madonna is determined to tattoo her vision onto her audience and make them think whether they want to or not. She is equally passionate that her fans get the very best of her, doing what they want to see her do. She sings (live), she dances like time has stopped and surely she never fell off that horse! The star provides an ongoing visual feast; almost too much happens on a Madonna stage (and in her head!). She and director Jamie King are over-fond of the giant visuals that back Madonna and can overwhelm her, but these are often beautiful, and for the fans in the nosebleed seats, they're compensation for watching their idol from a vantage point that reduces her to the size of a postage stamp.

THOUGH THEY seem polar opposites, Madonna and Marlene Dietrich have a lot in common. Marlene also offered herself as fans wanted to see her - encased in sequined gowns, a shimmy here, a hand gesture there. Madonna's act is considerably more athletic, but nonetheless a result of iron stamina, perfectionism, self-love and a professional standard that is out of reach by even the most dedicated performers. Indeed there is an almost Prussian, compulsive work ethic in Madonna's personality.) Old age and infirmity stopped Marlene, and she drew the curtain on her public self. Madonna is still a young woman, but not a youngster. Watching her aerobic intensity, one wonders how much longer she can do it. And why she wants to continue the brutal grind? Why? Because whatever her art and world attention has meant to Madonna, it hasn't altered. She has changed in some ways: married, a mother of two, a devotee of religion, but the great need that propelled her from Michigan to Manhattan way back when is as strong as ever. She wants to be adored - she wants to shock, confound, create, never rest on what has been. She looks to the future. Madonna is consumed by ambition and ego yet sometimes longs to free herself.

"Confessions" - which might be subtitled "I'm Still Here Ha! Ha! Ha!" - isn't a perfect concert, though by the time it reaches N.Y.C. in June, it might be. But it is a perfect showcase for a woman who has imposed her will on the world. And has no intention of loosening her grip.

ONE OF the happiest people at Madonna's concert was pal Rosie O'Donnell, loaded down with camera equipment. It was her first time out with a digital camera; she usually prefers old-fashioned film - "I love that darkroom smell!" Rosie compared notes with celeb lensman Kevin Mazur, much loved for his talent and good manners. Rosie has long documented Madonna's concerts. "I send her scrapbooks. I figure when we're both 80 we'll be in rocking chairs, going, 'Ah, remember the "Confessions" tour, honey?' "

Maybe. But I have a feeling M will be on her "Madonna 80: Ready, Willing and Still Able" tour.

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On Madonna's Flying Vagina

I wanted to share this e-mailed review of the Tuesday night show in L.A. It spoils nothing.
"Ok.. first I have to say that the woman looks amazing!! I hear all sorts of rumors about her and from good sources about how she maintains her body, sleeping in a full body fishnet stocking and a special bra.. but I was seriously not prepared for what a nearly 50 year Madonna was about to serve up for visual eye candy.. Her breasts are seriously perfect and her ass is amazing.. the woman has a better body than 99% of woman half her age- and it is my personal opinion she has never looked better- Next.. I also have to say that she might have been working out a few kinks for the first few shows, but, the woman let loose last night like nothing I have ever seen.. she danced like a woman on fire- keeping up with her back-up dancers while singing her vagina off (it landed in my lap) I hope to god she dances like this for you in NYC- as I feel like you didn't get the performance that I did.. as for the a/c situation, I believe it was resolved last night, while it was warm.. I was hardly uncomfortable and I was dancing most of the time.. I love that she performed mostly the new album and what other songs she selected as it was a very cohesive well planned show.. her political statements were brief and to the point which is what a show of that size and to her demographic requires- she was no fuss no muss..straight to the point, let's have a heart, a mind, but mostly a great time-I had a blast.. the price was a little spendy, and I wish she paid her people more.. but, it was I think the best that can be expected from a star in her position!! I give it an A+..I am anxious to hear your thoughts when she comes back around.."
Thanks for the updates and the laugh, dear reviewer!

Let me be so bold as to say I hope to catch the airborne genitalia in NYC. Talk about a kickass souvenir!

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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Like a Prayer, Indeed

Oh, yes, Madonna uses cross imagery again. And here come the slurs: what a slut! What a godless wreck! Egad, that pop culture!

Do we even bother responding anymore? Do we tell everyone that Madonna is making a statement about the weight of the world in today's culture of war, AIDS, and divisive religion?

Why can our government repeatedly cull religion and wildly misappropriate it and not get labeled blasphemous??

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Monday, May 22, 2006

Remembrance of Zings Past

"It's pretty overwhelming, to tell you the truth ... What's going on inside of me is like a war ... It's so extreme, I always think when I go out on stage that I'm going into battle."

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L.A. Shout-Outs

To be honest, a slight burden has been lifted upon seeing the show: No more fear of spoilers!

I've spent some time today reading reviews of the tour opening night. I've also been sifting through relatively old news leading up to this past weekend that I had been avoiding, keeping note of what the rumors were and how accurate (or not) they had been.

My personal pictures of the show are forthcoming and will be amply labeled with spoiler warnings if people are now afraid to come to this site for fear of catching a glimpse of the tour. (Sorry - I'm hyper-aware of spoiling it for others, as difficult as that may be with all the media attention heaped on Madonna lately.)

I just wanted to thank the following people and entities for, whether together or in individual action, adding up to a memorable weekend in Los Angeles:

Chad
Clara
Derek
Diane
Elise

Guy
In-N-Out
Jason
Jeremy
Mark
Nikki
Robbins
Samantha
Sara
Sasha
Toast
Urth
Valerie


Thanks, guys! My gingko biloba-fortified mind will never forget.

And a huge shout-out to
Neverlost, our rental car's beacon through the endless traffic. Although we affectionately dubbed it "SometimesLost," it did right by us most of the time.

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A Visit with the Queen, Part 6: Re-Invention Tour IV (Pavilhao Atlantico, Lisbon, 9/13/04)

It wasn't until after Madonna had left town in '04 did I think I might see Her again that summer.

But I was planning to go on vacation. And Portugal sounded nice. It's not my fault Madge just happened to be in Lisbon when we considered going there. Perfect, organic synergy instructed that Her Holiday synched with mine.

When my partner asked if it would be easy to get tickets to what was then Madonna's last scheduled performance of Re-Invention, I lunged onto the Internet. Joining the fan club and getting V.I.P. tickets, and plotting a trip to Portugal (and then Morocco - why not?), were accomplished before my next bathroom break.

The excitement over the announcement that the DVD would be recorded at the show was diminished only by the addition of an extra Lisbon show, making ours the penultimate, instead of the final, performance. Although I was put off by the prospect of flying on September 11 (three years after the tragedy), I counted down the dwindling days of summer, hoping the day would arrive quickly.

This is the very Lisbon show at which I wore
that infamous shirt and was inspired enough to write a review:


This was the almost the farthest I had traveled to see anyone (Tokyo still takes that prize), so I was determined to make it count. If that meant sacrificing a free day in arguably one of Europe's most gorgeous major cities, then so be it.

We waited in the queue, all day, behind other die-hards in the V.I.P. section, knowing that when those gates opened, it was a mad dash to the front of the stage.

I, of course, knew where to run to once inside the pavilion, which opened three hours before the show actually began. I wanted to make eye contact during Crazy for You and/or Nothing Fails. And, really, isn't eye contact all we really crave?

I crammed a camera down my pants and just narrowly escaped getting a crotch-grope from the security guards, who made me throw out a dangerous bottle of ... suntan lotion.

Once inside the arena, we aimed for stage right, positioned ourselves two people from the front barricade, and followed the trendsetters and "popped a squat." The V.I.P. standing area flanking the stage had become a giant sit-in of Indian-style pan-Europeans.

We waited and chatted.

As showtime neared, my partner and I looked at each other incredulously. "Look how close we are!" We could make out the dancers prepping underneath the stage. We could see the disembodied outstretched arms of the lucky fans selected to enjoy the show from the "dance pits" (lovely, eh?) in the middle of the stage, the Re-Invention Tour's conceit.

Then there She was. I had never seen Her perform so close, been able to see the color of Her eyes so clearly or make out seams in costumes, hear the songs without the booming microphone, or think that maybe - just maybe - She was looking back.

We enjoyed the show on an entirely new level. "Adrenalized" does not even begin to describe me when the lights came up.

And it forever ruined me. It's like a crack dealer luring you into addiction with under-market scores. You're hooked, and you'll pay anything to get back that rush.

Boy, am I paying this summer. Gladly.

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Sunday, May 21, 2006

CRAZY ASS SPOILER WARNING! Brief Report from the Full Dress Rehearsal

Amazing night. This tour will be a smash.

It's so late in L.A. (I am still on NYC time) and have much to do before I head back, and using a Mac, so forgive the brevity and the typeface, grammar, and lucidity issues:

Madonna came out before the show started, promptly, at 8:00 PM, and thanked her "friends and family" (about 3,000 by the end) for coming and said that She had woke up this morning thinking the show was not ready. (Drama queen.) The sound was a bit off in the beginning (nearing pitchy), but it seemed fine by the end, though Madonna could not hear Her guitar at one point in the I Love New York / Ray of Light rock-out and said, "You gotta take the rough with the smooth."

We were second row, which were amazing seats, although people who sit in the "pod areas" or directly near or in front of the central catwalk will be thrilled with their location. Madonna spent the entire opening at the end of the main catwalk, draining the energy from the front of the floor, actually, and confusing half the room. But then She spread the wealth around, except She barely ever went to the side catwalks for any large period of time. (The dancers pop up there - literally, in fact - several times.)

Other quick thoughts, in no by means any sense of chronology:

Costumes are great... some standard leotard stuff, but the "equestrian" duds are pretty damn fierce. The dancers act like horses and the whole thing has a surreal vibe.

Her disco entrance is awesome and one of the highlights.

Jump has some gymnastics poles set around the stage, where the limber guys fly around and twirl and slide, showing off impressive, crowd-pleasing acrobatics.

The mostly industry crowd - it hit every demographic, from insane front-row fans fan to bored old men - was relatively into it, considering that the Forum was not at all near capacity. Madge did have to ask, "Are you guys awake??" at one point.

During I Love New York, She of course amended the lyrics to say "Los Angeles is for people who sleep, but you guys are great!" I'm sure She'll say something to the same effect in every other non-NYC city. At MSG, of course, our collective head will explode.

The mix from Lucky Star to Hung Up as the finale manages to sneak in a fun James Brown reference.

Drowned World/Substitute for Love and Paradise (Not for Me) duet with Isaac are lovely downtempo numbers.

The body? Flawless. The hair? Gorgeous (extensions?). The crowd interactivity? Pretty light.

Live to Tell has Madge-as-Jesus with crown of thorns and crucifix and all, following a heavy piece with three dancers dramatizing troubled youth stories.

The rollerskating interstitial is ridiculously well-choreographed.

There is a quick, inspired cover of Donna Summer's "I Feel Love" that is nothing short of sublime.

I didn't even notice Her back-up singers until the end. (Sorry, Donna! Where the heck were you guys? Maybe I was so out of it focusing on Madonna the whole night.)
Biggest laugh: George W. Bush on the video screen during Sorry remix, edited to blink uncontrollably.

Three things I missed: Where was Holiday? The krumping dancer Miss Prissy? Any of the American Life album?? Wow.

It was a full two hours. An exhausting, incredible two hours.

More, including photos, to come when everything is processed and I get back to NYC.

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Friday, May 19, 2006

Overheard in New York: Madonna Edition

Before I jet off, I wanted to direct your attention to a website you might already be - and should be - familiar with, Overheard in New York.

The site compiles submissions quoting actual conversations or utterances that have been, well, overheard on the streets or in the subways of New York City, to hilarious effect. Some seem contrived as in, like, would anyone really say that? But, authentic or not, they are usually outrageously funny.

Once in a while, Madonna will be referenced, proving how much She has permutated our vernacular. Herewith, a collection of links to some of these quotes (sometimes offensive, sometimes mean-spirited - be warned and lighten up):

During Her appearance at Roxy last October (scroll to last quote)

Regarding Her age #1 (second quote down)

Random mention #1 (first quote down)

Random mention #2 (third quote down)

Regarding kabbalah (first quote)

Random mention #3 (sixth quote down)

Regarding Her age #2

During Her appearance on "TRL" last October

Random mention #4 (fifth quote down)

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Stay Tuned

I'm heading to L.A. shortly for the final dress rehearsal. It hasn't sunk in yet.

I'll try and post something the morning after the show (Sunday, Pacific Time). My post here will be spoiler-free, but I will give a full report to the Tribe, if you're so inclined to want to get a "preview" before opening night.

Have a great weekend!

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Thursday, May 18, 2006

MTV Gives Good Face

Didn't get Madonna tickets? Aren't happy with what you've got? Want to have ultimate bragging rights?

MTV.com is holding a sweepstakes for first row tickets. Go and enter.

If you're stumped by the trivia question, then, really, you should not be allowed on the Internet. It's called Google, folks.

And it also means you did not read my latest column. Which hurts. Really, really hurts.

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Los Angeles is for People Who Don't Sleep

Disregard my whining from a few days ago.

As Esther would say, are you ready to plotz?

By several amazing twists of fate, some great connections, and a helpful group of awesome friends, I'm flying to L.A. this weekend to see the full dress rehearsal of the Confessions Tour.

I KNOW!


And, no, I did not have to prostitute myself to arrange it.

Best. Day. Ever.

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Remembrance of Zings Past

“Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion.”

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Madge-ic Life, Vol. 17: Another Suitcase in Another Hall

1985 ... 1987 ... 1990 ... 1993 ... 2001 ... 2004 ... The Years of the Madonna Tours.

Before 2006 gets added to the list, I want to reflect on the concerts of yesteryear to prime fans for the Confessions Tour and remind everyone why Madonna is truly one of our greatest performers and why we should never take Her for granted. Cheesy but true.

Without further ado, click on the banner below to read my latest column, covering all of Madonna's previous tours:


And for a visual recap of the tours:

The Virgin Tour

Who's That Girl World Tour

Blond Ambition World Tour

The Girlie Show World Tour

Drowned World Tour

Re-Invention World Tour

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Flashback Photo Essay: Re-Invention Tour (2004)

The Beast Within (Video Intro)
Vogue
Nobody Knows Me
Frozen
American Life
Express Yourself
Burning Up
Material Girl
Hollywood (Remix Interlude)
Hanky Panky
Deeper and Deeper
Die Another Day
Lament
Bedtime Story (Video Interlude)
Nothing Fails
Like a Prayer
Don't Tell Me
Mother and Father (Intervention Bridge)
Imagine
Into the Groove
Papa Don't Preach
Crazy for You
Music
Holiday

5/24/04 Los Angeles, Forum
5/26/04 Los Angeles, Forum
5/27/04 Los Angeles, Forum
5/29/04 Las Vegas, MGM Grand Garden Arena
5/30/04 Las Vegas, MGM Grand Garden Arena
6/2/04 Anaheim, Arrowhead Pond
6/3/04 Anaheim, Arrowhead Pond
6/6/04 San Jose, CA, HP Pavilion
6/8/04 San Jose, CA, HP Pavilion
6/9/04 San Jose, CA, HP Pavilion
6/13/04 Washington, DC, MCI Center
6/14/04 Washington, DC, MCI Center
6/16/04 New York City, Madison Square Garden
6/17/04 New York City, Madison Square Garden
6/20/04 New York City, Madison Square Garden
6/21/04 New York City, Madison Square Garden
6/23/04 New York City, Madison Square Garden
6/24/04 New York City, Madison Square Garden
6/27/04 Worcester, MA, Centrum
6/28/04 Worcester, MA, Centrum
6/30/04 Worcester, MA, Centrum
7/1/04 Worcester, MA, Centrum
7/4/04 Philadelphia, Wachovia Center
7/5/04 Philadelphia. Wachovia Center
7/7/04 E. Rutherford, NJ, Continental Airlines Arena
7/8/04 E. Rutherford, NJ, Continental Airlines Arena
7/11/04 Chicago, United Center
7/12/04 Chicago, United Center
7/14/04 Chicago, United Center
7/15/04 Chicago, United Center
7/18/04 Toronto, Air Canada Centre
7/19/04 Toronto, Air Canada Centre
7/21/04 Toronto, Air Canda Centre
7/24/04 Atlanta, Philips Arena
7/25/04 Atlanta, Philips Arena
7/28/04 Ft. Lauderdale, Office Depot Center
7/29/04 Ft. Lauderdale, Office Depot Center
8/1/04 Miami, American Airlines Arena
8/2/04 Miami, American Airlines Arena
8/14/04 Manchester, M.E.N. Arena
8/15/04 Manchester, M.E.N. Arena
8/18/04 London, Earl's Court
8/19/04 London, Earl's Court
8/22/04 London, Wembley Arena
8/23/04 London, Wembley Arena
8/25/04 London, Wembley Arena
8/26/04 London, Wembley Arena
8/29/04 Dublin, Slane Castle
9/1/04 Paris, Bercy Stadium
9/2/04 Paris, Bercy Stadium
9/4/04 Paris, Bercy Stadium
9/5/04 Paris, Bercy Stadium
9/8/04 Arnhem, Netherlands, Gelredome
9/9/04 Arnhem, Netherlands, Gelredome
9/13/04 Lisbon, Pavilhão Atlântico
9/14/04 Lisbon, Pavilhão Atlântico

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Flashback Photo Essay: Re-Invention Tour (2004)

The Beast Within (Video Intro)
Vogue
Nobody Knows Me
Frozen
American Life
Express Yourself
Burning Up
Material Girl
Hollywood (Remix Interlude)
Hanky Panky
Deeper and Deeper
Die Another Day
Lament
Bedtime Story (Video Interlude)
Nothing Fails
Like a Prayer
Don't Tell Me
Mother and Father (Intervention Bridge)
Imagine
Into the Groove
Papa Don't Preach
Crazy for You
Music
Holiday

5/24/04 Los Angeles, Forum
5/26/04 Los Angeles, Forum
5/27/04 Los Angeles, Forum
5/29/04 Las Vegas, MGM Grand Garden Arena
5/30/04 Las Vegas, MGM Grand Garden Arena
6/2/04 Anaheim, Arrowhead Pond
6/3/04 Anaheim, Arrowhead Pond
6/6/04 San Jose, CA, HP Pavilion
6/8/04 San Jose, CA, HP Pavilion
6/9/04 San Jose, CA, HP Pavilion
6/13/04 Washington, DC, MCI Center
6/14/04 Washington, DC, MCI Center
6/16/04 New York City, Madison Square Garden
6/17/04 New York City, Madison Square Garden
6/20/04 New York City, Madison Square Garden
6/21/04 New York City, Madison Square Garden
6/23/04 New York City, Madison Square Garden
6/24/04 New York City, Madison Square Garden
6/27/04 Worcester, MA, Centrum
6/28/04 Worcester, MA, Centrum
6/30/04 Worcester, MA, Centrum
7/1/04 Worcester, MA, Centrum
7/4/04 Philadelphia, Wachovia Center
7/5/04 Philadelphia. Wachovia Center
7/7/04 E. Rutherford, NJ, Continental Airlines Arena
7/8/04 E. Rutherford, NJ, Continental Airlines Arena
7/11/04 Chicago, United Center
7/12/04 Chicago, United Center
7/14/04 Chicago, United Center
7/15/04 Chicago, United Center
7/18/04 Toronto, Air Canada Centre
7/19/04 Toronto, Air Canada Centre
7/21/04 Toronto, Air Canda Centre
7/24/04 Atlanta, Philips Arena
7/25/04 Atlanta, Philips Arena
7/28/04 Ft. Lauderdale, Office Depot Center
7/29/04 Ft. Lauderdale, Office Depot Center
8/1/04 Miami, American Airlines Arena
8/2/04 Miami, American Airlines Arena
8/14/04 Manchester, M.E.N. Arena
8/15/04 Manchester, M.E.N. Arena
8/18/04 London, Earl's Court
8/19/04 London, Earl's Court
8/22/04 London, Wembley Arena
8/23/04 London, Wembley Arena
8/25/04 London, Wembley Arena
8/26/04 London, Wembley Arena
8/29/04 Dublin, Slane Castle
9/1/04 Paris, Bercy Stadium
9/2/04 Paris, Bercy Stadium
9/4/04 Paris, Bercy Stadium
9/5/04 Paris, Bercy Stadium
9/8/04 Arnhem, Netherlands, Gelredome
9/9/04 Arnhem, Netherlands, Gelredome
9/13/04 Lisbon, Pavilhão Atlântico
9/14/04 Lisbon, Pavilhão Atlântico

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