A Visit with the Queen, Part 7: The View (NYC, 6/8/05)

In the latter half of the fifth month in the Anno Domini 2005, the grande dame of our fine nation's harbinger medium spoketh of another coming: The royal She would sit with the ladies of The View.

Huh? "The View"? The morning talk show featuring a clucking coffee klatch? What would Madonna possibly have to say to the housewives of America through that show? Surely the rumors about Barbara Walter's statement were untrue. Would Madonna really do a live interview in early June on "The View"?

Just to be sure, I called one of the co-hosts and secured my studio audience spot (remember those Perks of Employment in the Entertainment Industry?). Even though the rumor included a specific date, I remained skeptical.

Then it started to make sense. Three words: Lotsa de Casha.

Madge had a new children's book to promote and had planned a slew of media events in early June. A book signing and fundraiser were announced locally, and what better New York-based TV show to promote a sweet fable than the family-friendly gabfest?

I had reserved tickets for June 8 and was relieved that Her appearance started getting heavy promotion a week or so beforehand, all but confirming the date.

The morning of, Beth and I waited with the mostly tourist throng and got excited to be in the small studio. When the ushers started seating people, we were escorted to the very front row, literally within spitting distance of the set. Beth sat directly next to the producer the camera always cuts to, Bill Getty, and on my right was some pretty, young Friend of Madonna. Unlike Letterman, we were inches from where the hostesses would be sitting ... meaning Madge would be RIGHT THERE.

Before the show, the warm-up guy tried to get a dance contest going. (Or something.) Madonna music was blaring all around us and I somehow ended up on the studio monitors mouthing Ray of Light. That was the extent of my screen time for the show, except a few notable appearances during the live broadcast of the handsome back of my head.

But I didn't want to be on TV. I just wanted to see Madge up close again.

Watching live TV in person is always bizarre. Things never look quite like they do what with lighting, sound, make-up, and set dressing all taking a new televised sheen. Plus, you're always aware of cameras moving around, directors and producers speaking to the performers through earpieces, and TelePrompTers.

The opening chitchat of the show went in one ear and out the other. Although it was cool to see Barbara Walters up close (and, okay, Star Jones [not as big as she looks on TV], Elisabeth Hasselbeck [a sweetheart - despite the conservatism - who introduced herself during commercial breaks], and Joy Behar [a total pisser]) it all felt like filler until the main event.

When Madonna was announced and walked to the stage, we were again struck by Her beauty and how tiny She seems. I could not keep my eyes off of Her, occasionally looking to Beth for our usual "Omigod, we are so close" moments.

And then She stood at the sofa while the audience whooped and hollered. Watching the video of the show, I saw that the cameras cut to the upper tier of the studio to show the audience cheering. In that split second, I blew Madonna a double-handed air kiss that She acknowledged with a polite nod. (Testify, Beth!)

Many fans noted how nervous Madonna seemed during the interview. While She did look down a lot, She also was quite engaged with the gaggle of four hosts, considering She had to turn to face different interviewers and cover everything from Her family and fitness regimen to the new book and Her upcoming "I feel like dancing" album (Confessions on a Dance Floor, before it was so named). I didn't pay much attention to the interview as much as I did Her shoes; I knew it was a rare glimpse of seeing Her so close .. and how else to really remember the experience than to watch things that don't translate over television?

Flash photography is allowed at "The View" during commercial breaks, and the set just lit up when the show temporarily went off-air. Madonna didn't get out of Her seat during the break, but She did confer with the hostesses and occasionally looked out into the audience with a smile if someone brazenly shouted Her name. (Funny how people get so timid around such a luminary.)

Besides feeling the out-of-body excitement of being thisclose to Madonna the person as opposed to Madonna the performer, we were given another gift that morning: a goodie bag stuffed with merchandise based on Her children's books.

A lasting gift from Madge Herself. I won't even sell the loot on eBay.